It's common knowledge that today's fur industry is notoriously cruel to our fuzzy little brethren of Earth, and understandable that the tide has turned severely since the Golden Age of Hollywood, when women like Liz Taylor and Rita Hayworth would traipse around red carpets with full-body fox stoles around their necks (head, paws and all).

But most of us aren't the first owners of a floor-length chinchilla coat straight from the furrier, because, um, most of us aren't Kanye West. Instead, many of the fur wearers among us stumbled on the piece in the back of Great Aunt Harriet's closet or hidden between nasty-ass jogging suits at Goodwill. So is wearing a vintage fur piece any more ethically sound than wearing a fur piece made now? IDK! IDK! But a long piece in Collector's Weekly goes to great lengths to find out.

It's no coincidence that the fur industry first boomed during the Great Depression along with generally escapist entertainment, and our economic climate today seems to be mimicking the resurgence of fur in all forms—even a hoodie, as seen at New York Fashion Week. (The Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, and Marc Jacobs shows this year all included real fur.)

Like, say, a vegetarian who occasionally eats chicken, the capacity that we have to trick ourselves into thinking that we're sticking to our moral code—even as we deviate from it—is astounding. As usual. Says Rachel Poliquin, the author of The Breathless Zoo: Taxidermy and the Cultures of Longing.

"As soon as you get into talking about animals, and the appropriate ways we use animals, it's just such a never-ending pit of questions... Unless you live your life without using any animal products, and you don't wear leather shoes or a leather belt, and you don't eat meat, you're always a hypocrite, and there is no gray. I think a lot of people like to live in the gray zone."

Samantha Davis, a vintage store owner: "When it comes to wearing it, I understand that it perpetuates the trend as a whole, so it's a risk when you walk around in it, because people can't tell whether you're in vintage or not." On the flip side, one of the obvious benefits of buying vintage fur is that you're not purchasing any new cheap animal products from Asia, where we have little to no knowledge of the treatment or slaughter process of the animal.

However, if you do ever come across a fur coat but feel morally restricted from wearing it, here's a good place it can go: the Humane Society's Coats for Cubs program, which repurposes old fur into beds for a variety of orphaned critters who associate the feel with their lost mother. If that didn't bring a tear to your eye, this will.

'Should You Feel Guilty About Wearing Vintage Fur?' [Collectors Weekly]

Image via mythja/Shutterstock

It's been about a year and a half since the Caster Semenya clusterfuck, during which Olympic silver medal sprinter Semenya was forced to undergo gender testing in 2009 because her athletic skill led some to believe she was intersex (she was later cleared for competing in the women's category).

And we learned something from that, I hope, besides the fact that you better watch the fuck out if you're not a female athlete who looks "like a girl", and plays sports "like a girl."

Female MMA 5-0 featherweight champ Fallon Fox told Sports Illustrated this week that she underwent male-to-female sexual reassignment surgery back in 2006. Although experts say that the level of testosterone that Fallon's at by now is obviously significantly lower than the male levels—even some of females'—the fairness of Fox's competing in the female category has come into question, and her fighting license may be revoked.

Last year, the Association of Boxing Commissions drafted a transgender policy, but this is the first time it's been needed: it requires Fox to provide her complete medical history as well as a board certified endocrinologist to testify that she's been on hormone therapy for 2 years or more.

Others are arguing, as Sports On Earth explains, the same gender binary necessary to have segregated male and female athletics, which ultimately empowers female athletes, is the main case against Fox:

This whole debate is a clash of two progressive values — fluid definitions of sexual identity and the Title IX revolution. Every female athlete in the world has benefited from a form of discrimination and segregation. Without strict division, men would claim virtually every prize in sports. They did so for ages, before women could compete.

Fox's manager and various MMA promoters have thrown their weight behind her ("She's a sweet woman" "She has to live in her own skin and I support her 100 percent." "As long as she's licensed, she's always welcome in our promotion.") Fox, who has a sixteen-year-old daughter born before her gender reassignment surgery, says: "I want to go as far as I can go, just like the other female fighters. I just want the same opportunities."

'How Fallon Fox became the first known transgender athlete in MMA' [Sports Illustrated]
'Gender Equity' [Sports on Earth]

Okay, I gotta say, this grew on me after the second listen. One of those things where the hook takes a little bit to stick in your head, nahmean? Although it takes a full minute for Nicki to appear, as soon as she does, shit gets bizarre. (1:06.)

I also really like Nicki's pasties, which are like those gold star stickers your teacher would put on your homework in kindergarten, but in this case for a kindergarten full of GIANTS.

Also, A+ for "Giant pussy/Mufasa."

[The Sun]

When political analyst Zerlina Maxwell appeared on Fox's Hannity this week, she suggested that preventing rape in America might have to do less with informing women to get guns/learn self-defense/dress different/drink less/what have you than it does with... teaching men, from a young age, not to rape. Jesus Christmas, how would you ever come to that conclusion?! She's obviously totally sane UTTERLY MAD, I TELL YOU.

The quote:

"The reality is that we need to be changing how we train and teach young men. We need to teach them to see women as human beings and respect their bodily autonomy. We need to teach them about consent and to hold themselves accountable."

Even outside the patriarchal, rigid confines of our beloved Fox network, it's pretty clear why this line of thinking is significantly underrepresented. It's so much easier instead, so much less daunting, to lecture women on why they should have brought their Glock to the bar or worn a rape-deflecting smelly Hefty bag covered in T.G.I.F. swag whenever they leave the house or whatever the fuck stupid shit they're saying now that women "should" be doing to protect themselves from being raped.

Maxwell, a rape survivor herself, illuminates the right wing tendency to want women to arm themselves because they assume that true "rape" is only perpetrated by a stranger in a ski mask with a gun who jumps out of the bushes. In fact, obviously, many rapes are committed by people the victim knows and trusts, even loves, says Maxwell: "Telling every woman to get a gun is not rape prevention. [...] We need a reality check. We're talking about the wrong things. We're asking the wrong questions."

Canada provides a model example of Maxwell's idea: after launching their "Don't be that guy" consent awareness campaign, the national sexual assault rate dropped (for the first time in years, at all) by 10%.

Naturally, the audacity of Maxwell to suggest that perhaps men should be more involved in the conversation about rape prevention earned her criticism from various news outlets (one called her argument "bizarre," and another interpreted it as an argument against women arming themselves). Not to mention the myriad Twitter trolls and Facebook assholes posting messages to Maxwell saying that they hope she gets raped. God. America, ladies and gentlemen.

'Can Men Be Taught Not to Rape?' [Salon]

"I'm trying to connect the God particle, the Higgs boson, with dark energy - you know, the thing that makes the universe accelerate. This sounds a bit egomaniacal, but to understand dark energy, I think we have to be open-minded about Einstein's general relativity."

A person who says things like this in conversation is not the typical victim to fall for the ol' fake Internet girlfriend trick, but theoretical particle physicist Paul Frampton, a professor at the University of North Carolina who's affiliated professionally with three Nobel laureates, was sentenced to 4 years and 8 months for drug smuggling in November. He continues to claim ignorance, as reported in this NYT Magazine piece that details the story.

The story begins when Frampton, who is divorced, meets and corresponds with a Czech model named Denise Milani on the Internet. She asks him to meet her in Santiago, Chile, and sends an e-ticket to Brussels, where she's been called on a bikini shoot—the e-ticket ends up being invalid. Despite this, he persists, and on his stop in La Paz, Bolivia, Milani asks him to bring her a suitcase that she left there. The plain black bag has "sentimental value," she says.

Frampton talks to a physicist friend who warns him against carrying weird bags to strange Internet women. He does not listen—his friends say that although he's brilliant, he only has a passing acquaintance with the real world. (His ex-wife says that he has "the emotional intelligence of a three-year-old.")

When he's unable to get in touch with Milani after 15 days, he finally heads home to North Carolina, but takes her bag with him just in case she ends up needing it. Sure enough, airport security found 1,980 grams of cocaine in "Denise Milani's" suitcase, and Frampton was jailed despite his claims that he was unaware of what he was carrying.

Despite the Brokedown Palace trope of American travelers being duped into drug-smuggling and ensnared in foreign jails, the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency argues that it's very rare. Whether Frampton did it for Milani or for money, their spokesman says, he was almost certainly aware of the hidden contents of the suitcase.

Frampton himself acknowledges this: "Some people will say they're innocent, but when I talk to them further, it becomes clear that they were somehow involved. I think people like me are less than 1 percent." However, a series of more than 30 texts that Frampton sent Milani work against him.

"On Jan. 22 at 9:46 a.m.," he said, "you wrote from Ezeiza airport to the person you understood to be Denise Milani: ‘Was worried only about sniffer dogs but more.' " As his interrogation of Frampton continued, he read other text messages sent from Frampton's phone. One at 9:52 a.m.: "Need to know if your loyalty is with the bad guy-agent & bolivian friends - or good guy, your husband?" And another at 9:56 a.m.: "SIRU" - the Hotel Siru, where they were planning to meet in Brussels - "IS AMBUSH." 10:14 a.m.: "Your naivety is bad for me, us. This is millions. NO SIRU, OK?" At 11:19 a.m., Frampton sent Milani an e-mail: "This stuff is worth nothing in Bolivia, but $Ms in Europe. You meet me at the airport and we do not go near the hotel the ‘agent' suggested. Stay at another hotel." At 11:47 a.m., there was another text message: "Monday arrival changed. You must not tell the coca-goons." At 12:16 p.m., he wrote: "WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME? AT THIS LAST MOMENT. WE DID NOT DECIDE HOW TO MEET TOMORROW IN BRUSSELS AND KEEP COCA & LIVES. AT SIRU WE MAY LOSE BOTH!!" At 1:06: "We may do cool 1,000,000."

Frampton says that these text messages are jokes. Additionally, he wrote a calculation on a piece of paper:

1 gram 200 dollars

2,000 grams 400,000 dollars.

He tells the NYT reporter that he made these calculations after he was arrested. He also adds that he obsessively calculates both mundane and emotional elements of his life (e.g. the statistical probability that Milani would become his wife, as well as the weight of one of the judges).

Despite all this, it was not for some time in jail before Frampton began suspecting that his Denise Milani was a fraud. Sure enough, the real Milani, whose photos were used to engage Frampton, was interviewed in the Daily Mail in August. She regrets that she's now affiliated with drugs in any way, and expresses sympathy for Frampton, who has since hired private lawyers.

Extreme Catfish: Home Edition.

'The Professor, the Bikini Model
and the Suitcase Full of Trouble' [NYT]

A (super-ripped) P.S. 183 special-ed teacher named Matthew Maleski, who'd clocked in just over a year at the school, has been fired for responding to Craigslist hook-up ads from a Gmail account that he shared with another teacher, reports NYDN. The other teacher informed Principal Tara Napoleoni of Maleski's endeavors, noting also that the emails included shots of him in nothing but his boxers.

Maleski since clarified that he sent the photos during non-school hours with his cell phone, which was automatically linked to the Gmail account. Naturally, more online records of Maleski find him "grind dancing" to "house music" on YouTube and posing partially clothed in ads for gay networking app Hornet. But that's not really anyone's business, right? Just don't send shit from school email accounts, Matt!

"Those accounts must of [sic] interchanged accidentally," he told his co-teacher in an emailed apology, according to the probe.

Maybe it's just me, but I kind of think that all of these Internet-sex-snafu teachers (the ones who don't mess with their students, but are just dumb/sloppy at social networks, I mean) should start their own school, and it would be called The Funnest School Ever.

'Studly NYC special-ed teacher fired after using shared class email for Craigslist hookups; posted sexy shirtless photo for email profile pic' [NYDN]
'Too Hot For Tots: Former Male Model Axed From Elementary Teacher Gig For Sending Naughty Emails From School Account' [Bossip]

Wilfried Zaha of Crystal Palace is challanged by Stephen Warnock of Leeds United during the npower Championship match between Crystal Palace and Leeds United* at Selhurst Park on March 9, 2013 in London, England. (Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images)

*Related: the wonderful Amanda Palmer song "Leeds United."

Oh, hello, Tiny Corgi. I see you on your hero's journey. We all have a metaphorical tennis ball in our lives: one that enraptures and terrifies us, one that forces us to lock horns with ourselves but ultimately come out better. Stronger. Fuck that tennis ball up for US ALL, Tiny Corgi. Then—and only then—will you truly be on the path to Grown-Ass Dogdom.

[via Tastefully Offensive]

A pregnant woman in Ireland who is is two weeks overdue, according to her records at Waterford Regional Hospital, was taken to High Court after refusing the C-section procedure recommended by hospital staff. The woman, who insists that her due date is actually March 18th, in contradiction with the medically-determined date, delivered a previous child via C-section in 2010.

The resulting scar on her uterus, if she were to deliver this child naturally, would pose a life-threatening risk to the mother and child. Before the trial was over, she had consented to the procedure.

As of this October, the rate of C-sections in Ireland was 38% higher than the target set by the nation's Health Service Executive; awareness has been steadily increasing both abroad and domestically that C-Sections, while in some cases necessary to save the life of the mother and/or child, are often elected for the sake of convenience and reduced liability.

Meanwhile, a pregnant Florida woman named Lisa Epsteen was warned by her obstetrician that he'd sic the cops on her if she didn't elect to have a C-Section due to her high-risk pregnancy. "I would hate to move to the most extreme option, which is having law enforcement pick you up at your home and bring you in, but you are leaving the providers of USF/TGH no choice," he wrote to Epsteen, who quickly consented but now fears returning to the same hospital for the procedure.

Said Epsteen, who delivered her four previous children via C-Section:

"In a couple of hours there are going to be cops on my doorstep taking me away from home - in front of my children - to force me into having surgery... There are any number of things that they could have done without threatening me."

"Honestly, I feel abandoned. There has to be a level of trust between provider and patient, and that has been betrayed. It's circumstances like this that make women feel like they have no options but to birth their babies on their own - and put themselves in more dangerous circumstances - because they feel bullied."

An attorney for the National Advocates for Pregnant Women rapidly became involved in Epsteen's case. "Pregnant women are no different than anybody else in terms of their constitutional and human rights... The threat [Epsteen's doctor] was making was both legally and ethically unjustifiable."

'Woman agrees to caesarean after hospital goes to court' [Irish Times]
'USF obstetrician threatens to call police if patient doesn't report for c-section' [Tampa Bay Times]

Image via pan_kung/Shutterstock

Remember that Destiny's Child kitchen-singing clip in HBO's Beyoncéumentary Life Is But a Dream? They were all such endearing youngins.

Kelly Rowland, who we disturbingly saw crying on the streets of L.A. recently after her birthday brunch with Bey, Jay and Solange, says that she had one particular insecurity in those days: her skin color.

You know what? I had great women in my life to help me overcome that. I remember I went through a period where I didn't embrace my 'chocolatiness.' I don't know if that's a word, but I didn't embrace my chocolate lifestyle. Just being a chocolate, lovely brown-skin girl and being proud of that.

"I remember Tina Knowles, Bey's mom and I, I remember being out in the sun and I was trying to shield myself from the sun and she said, 'Are you crazy?' She said 'You are absolutely gorgeous,' and she just told me how beautiful I was and how rare chocolate is and how gorgeous the skin is, all of this stuff. And I was just like 'Yeah!' Like a light went off. So between her and my mother and then me sitting out in the sun a little more, just to be a little more chocolate. You just embrace it. You embrace everything that you are as a woman, even your flaws too."

We're going to take a fucking minute here and appreciate her single "Lay It On Me" because I genuinely adore it. Never cry again, Kelly. Pleeeease. It hurts my heart.

'Beyonce's Mom, Tina Knowles Helps Kelly Rowland Love Her Skin Tone, Singer Opens Up About Loving Her 'Chocolatiness' [MStarz]

Since we're all familiar with JT's "Omeletville" sketch and his Digital Shorts prowess and such, this is a great time to Take You Back In Time to 1994 when the five-time Saturday Night Live host did a Mickey Mouse Club duet of "I'll Take You There" with Britney Spears.

I searched for a clip of the duo in their matching denim (his idea!) but to no avail.

Please have a Saturday that fills your heart/loins with vinho verde joy!

Although Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Justin Theroux, Jennifer Aniston, Chandler Bing and that duck called a truce at some point, as Brangelina's and Jenreaux's (?) marriages draw nearer, threatening to even land sort of around the same time, some obvious problems become apparent.

As usual, Aniston is depicted one hair away from being the crazed nemesis of Brangelina, who are planning to wed in France just after the Cannes Film Festival ends in May.*

"All that goodwill would go out the window if Brad's wedding date comes close to hers. Jennifer will see it as an attempt to upstage her and there will be a battle over Hollywood guests.

She knows they will be judged on who had the better wedding by pulling in the biggest stars."

To that end, I will now proceed to cut Matt LeBlanc in half the long way. The one who objects is the one who truly deserves him. [The Sun]

*Doesn't that sentence make you want to hock out a hairball?

"Selena has kept an eye on Justin in the news and just laughed and laughed. She doesn't give a s**t anymore. Justin is crazy and she doesn't want to be his mom anymore. She feels so free and loves hanging out with her girlfriends. He's weird and she doesn't find his behaviour hot or anything. She just wants a man who has his shit together, and not a weird boy... he's turned into exactly the kind of person she doesn't want to be with."

Zzzzz. Sorry, what? [HuffPo]

Meanwhile, El Beebo cancels a concert in Portugal. [TMZ]

Like most of us, Sarah Jessica Parker and her bunions Couldn't Help But Wonder® why the crap The Carrie Diaries is even a thing.

"I'm not sure… You know, I think it's one of those tests of your generosity. She [AnnaSophia Robb, who plays Bradshaw] is a lovely girl and I want her to feel good about it, but it's… odd."

"HBO was very encouraging of the beyond-camera role I played, and I feel that had we not done it, I don't know that would have existed for Girls. It's such a different way of thinking and it's not conventional. I also think [Lena Dunham] came along understanding her voice and with the support of a producing partner [Judd Apatow] experienced enough to say she is capable of this, she needs to be in charge of the story as it's her voice. I do feel Sex and the City's success made that possible, and it would have been different otherwise."

[Gossip Cop]

In the wake of Elizabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar's departure from The View, it's been reported that Brooke Shields is "likely" to join the ABC morning show at Barbara Walters' behest. "She's articulate, has Hollywood connections perfect for nabbing interviews, is the right age, and is a mom!" [Radar Online]

Everything your blobby, unformed 7th grade brain gleaned from Velvet Goldmine is basically true, according to David Bowie's ex-wife Angie, who stumbled on Aladdin Sane in the sack with Mick Jagger.

"My assistant was laughing in the kitchen when I got home. She said, 'You won't believe this. David and Mick Jagger.'

"I said, 'Right then, put the kettle on'. I went upstairs and banged on the door and said, 'Morning! Ready for breakfast, boys?'

"I walked into the bedroom and David was there with all these pillows and duvets on top of him and on the other side of the bed was Mick's leg sticking out.

"I said: 'Did you guys have a good night?'. They were so hungover they could hardly speak. I took pity on them."

[Digital Spy]

• Adele and Beyoncé may be performing at Michelle Obama's 50th birthday bash. [HuffPo]
• J-Law and Adele and cartoon birds have been palling around since the Oscars. [The Sun]
• Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian's marriage was a "sham," claims Humphries' family, shocking those of us who think huge TV weddings are the stuff of lasting foreverlove rather than energy drink deals. [TMZ]
• One Direction had to take down their call to fans to send in tattoo shots after adults voiced their fears that the lads were encouraging impressional tweens to get body art. [Daily Mail]
• (Oh and Harry Styles got a pretty obtrusive butterfly on his ribcage.) [NYDN]
• Meanwhile, Harry Styles' supposed one-night stand Shaniece Nesbitt—whom he picked out at a club on Saturday night "because [she] looked like Megan Fox"—has been receiving death threats and took down her Facebook. [The Sun]
• One for your stepdad: Vince Neil of One Direction cover band Mötley Crüe was taken to the hospital for kidney stones. [NBC News]
• Odd couple Rosario Dawson and her director boyfriend Danny Boyle are splitzville. [TVNZ.co.nz]
• Amanda Peet wrote a play called The Commons of Pensacola that will premiere in New York, possibly starring Blythe Danner and Sarah Jessica Parker. [CBS News]
• Model/bra design wizard Elle MacPherson is engaged to a millionaire named Jeffrey Soffer. [Us Weekly]
• Does anybody want to approach Jennifer Love Hewitt about getting her boobs insured? Because she wants you to. (Also: have you guys seen that Old Navy commercial where she peacocks around and winks at the camera and is like, "Jennifer Loves Hoodies?" Cuh-RINGE.) [Us Weekly]
• Tina Fey's daugher Alice is the tiniest, adorable-est #1 fan of Quvenzhané Wallis. [People]
• Rihanna cancelled a concert in Boston due to laryngitis. (Related: second OED def. of "laryngitis" is "flaming Sambuca shots, hedonism, YOLOOOO INSTAGRAMMMM.") [Us Weekly]
• No more taking emotional distress sick days on behalf of the Kimye baby. Kim Kardshian is recovering from her miscarriage scare and—yes—is back on Instagram. [NYDN]
• On her way back from a Calabasas Target, Britney Spears pulled over to buy a painting from the side of the road ("She instantly became captivated by an oil painting of a French street scene and stared at it in open-mouthed awe.") [Radar Online]
• More USA Pulling adaptation news: Mandy Moore drops out (as Louise) and Jenny Slate joins up (as Karen). Good choices, all. Guys, not kidding, please watch the BBC original, your life will CHANGE. [HuffPo]
• Azealia Banks is going after the Stone Roses on Twitter now. [The Sun]
• Josh Brolin, Bradley Cooper and Michael Fassbender went out to a bar. Hey, guys, I know this great bar that's in my apartment/bed/vagina. DM me. [People]
• Tom Hardy's dinner was interrupted by fellow restaurant-goer Madonna and her dancers busting out some MDNA moves in the restaurant. [Page Six]
• Blake Lively faking enthusiasm with a huge-ass lemur mascot from The Croods. [NYDN]
• Catherine Keener not at all faking enthusiasm with a huge-ass lemur mascot from The Croods. [NYDN]

Ahem. Jada Pinkett Smith, one of the premiere Awesome Moms of our time, has something to say. And then she will drop the mic. But first:

"It is as if we have forgotten what it means to be young or even how to behave like good ol' grown folk. Do we feel as though we can say and do what we please without demonstrating any responsibility simply because they are famous? Is it okay to continually attack and criticize a famous 19 year old who is simply trying to build a life, exercise his talents while figuring out what manhood and fame is all about as he carries the weight of supporting his family as well as providing the paychecks to others who depend on him to work so they can feed their families as well? Does that render being called a cunt by an adult male photographer as you try to return to your hotel after leaving the hospital?

Or what about our nine year old beautiful Oscar nominee who was referred to as a cunt as well? Or what about being a young woman in her early twenties, exploring the intricacies of love and power on the world stage? And should we shame a young woman for displaying a sense of innocence as she navigates through the murky waters of love, heartbreak, and fame? Are these young people not allowed to be young, make mistakes, grow, and eventually transform a million times before our eyes?"

(That would be Justin Bieber, Quvenzhané Wallis, Rihanna and Taylor Swift, if it was unclear. But you could also change the order, for hijinks!) [Gossip Cop]

Although for many this is too little, too late—and for still more, it's "I never fucking cared about this, and where did I put that box of Cheez-Its down?"—Matt Lauer admitted that the unceremonious dumping of Ann Curry from Today did not go as planned. "I don't think the show and the network handled the transition well. You don't have to be Einstein to know that, it clearly did not help us. We were seen as a family, and we didn't handle a family matter well."

Former NBC network chief Steve Capus says that Lauer tried to quit at the height of the Haters Gonna Hate period, but they wouldn't hear of it. Capus adds the public scapegoating of Lauer for Curry's exit was unfair and that Laurer was a consistent supporter of Curry's (disputes a Today source: "Nobody really thinks he likes Ann Curry.") [NYDN]

Scott Disick, who totally wants to stab you to death and play around with your blood because he couldn't get a reservation at MOTHERFUCKING DORSIA, made Kourtney Kardashian cry about her baby weight.

Upon seeing that his 5-foot-tall girlfriend weighed 115 pounds, Disick asked, "Do you know what you're supposed to weigh for your average weight for your height?"

Kourtney estimated that she should be around 105 pounds, and then revealed that she was probably around 95 pounds when she and Disick first met. "I feel like 93 is the dream," Disick said, sighing. "Your body was banging when I first saw you on the beach with that little ass."

At one point, when Kourtney asked why he cared how much she weighed, he replied, "Why wouldn't I care? You're my piece of machinery!"

By the end of the episode, Kourtney was in tears over Disick's offhand remarks about her body. "You are so crazy. I'm trying to do this the healthy way," she told him when he admonished her about her diet. To which Disick replied: "Do it the healthy way, just do it faster."

Awwww, I hope he used that "machinery" line in their vows. [Us Weekly]

Bradley Cooper is reportedly head-over-heels in Like with a British model named Suki Waterhouse. He's been texting her every day since they've met (Jesus, Coop-a-doop, might want to cool it) and trying to convince her to visit him in L.A.

Says a source,"They've penciled in a date for when she can come over and they can spend some time together. Bradley wanted to arrange something before he starts promoting The Hangover Part III, which will take up a lot of his time." Ah yes, that same old song: boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy is torn away to make rehearsed jokes about Zack Galifianakis's taint. [Radar Online]

Melissa McCarthy, who has been woefully left out of the Celebrity Dream BFF Master List lately, is in the final talks to join St. Vincent De Van Nuys, which stars renowned Hollywood honey badger Bill Murray as a "cantankerous train wreck" who tutors single mom McCarthy's 12-year-old son. [Vulture]

• Dennis Rodman's going to meet the new Pope. He's so international these days. [TMZ]
• Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney are gonna get Monster Married. [World of Wonder]
• Chrissy Teigen put a picture on Instagram of her naked body being sprayed with tanner by some disenchanted-looking assistant and then took it down. [The Life Files]
• Snoop Lion wasn't into Twitter initially. Thank God he's changed his mind. [Team Coco]
• Gerard Butler on his girlfriend Madalina Ghenea: "I met a great girl. I met her here in New York and we hung out all night, didn't even kiss, tried on my hat collection and I said 'I'm coming to visit you in Milan,' and three days later, I was at her door in Milan. She was like, "Whoa!" (Interviewer: "Is that a euphemism for something?") "No, I have so many hats!" Fannnntastic. [Extra TV]
• A dude Russell Brand hit with his car is suing him for $185,000 in medical bills. [Page Six]
• Jus' keeeeding: actually, Elizabeth Hasselbeck is not leaving The View, says Queen Barbara Walters. [Extra TV]
• Kim Kardashian got pulled over for her tinted car windows. [TMZ]
• Bachelor Sean Lowe has proposed to Catherine Giudici, if that means anything at all to you. The two will be engaged for at least the next 5 minutes. [People]
• If you can't get enough Sean Lowe, and who CAN, he will be on the next season of Dancing With The Stars. [GMA]
• Annnnd fan favorite Desiree has been revealed as the next Bachelorette. (See above.) [People]
• Mark-Paul Gosselaar is having his third kid with Catriona McGinn—their first together (It's his fourth, if you count Franklin & Bash as his SPIRITUAL kid.) [People]
• Anna Paquin and Steven Moyer went out with their babies and ate some food. [People]
• Adrienne Maloof and Sean Stewart broke up. [Us Weekly]
• Here's Eva Longoria displaying her "curves" in a bathing suit. [Us Weekly]
• Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore money split no prenup blarg blargle blargle, remember her in Now and Then?! [Radar Online]
• Jennifer Aniston says the latest Jenreax Hawaii marriage rumors are F for Fake. [Page Six]
• The Mad Men Season 6 poster—drawn by a 75-year-old former ad illustrator—is pretty neat. [Vulture]
• Girls' "old-timey criminal"-faced Adam Driver joins the cast of a Jason Reitman/Tina Fey movie. [Vulture]
• The Great Gatsby will open Cannes, and it doesn't even need to use a... CANNES-OPENER. ZOWWIE [People]
• Pippa Middleton is dating some stockbroker named Nico Jackson. [NYDN]

After months of false "Blogs who Cried Breakup" rumors surrounding Miley "Just Being Miley" Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, they finally huffed, and puffed, and blew the house down. Or something. IDK, wolves. BUT ANYWAY, the two have broken up on the reals, according to Page Six's multiple sources.

"Miley and Liam are done; it's over. She likes to party really hard and can be pretty wild. It became a problem for him."

Another source added, "They have broken up before, and are broken up again now. There was drama because she suspected he had a wandering eye. And she recently tweeted a denial that he cheated."

Last week Cyrus took to Twitter to refute myriad tales of Hemsworth making out with Oscars ice sculpture January Jones at a pre-Oscars party as well as creeping on Emma Watson ("He seemed to find a reason to touch her somewhere, shoulder, hand, knee, as often as possible").

However, the word on the street right now is that Hemsworth is chilling at home in Australia with brother Chris while Cyrus is traipsing around L.A. sans her 3.5-carat engagement ring. Soooo derp derp derp. [Page Six, image via Twitter]

We may as well all just commit hara-kiri now, because Olivia Wilde cannot BELIEVE that Jason Sudeikis could be interested in such a schlubby, average-looking woman as little old Olivia Wilde: "I thought, 'He won't be interested in me; I'm not a contender. He was so cool, so funny. I thought, 'I'm not beautiful enough or his type." Yeah, not buying this. [NYDN]

For such a promotional whiz-kid, you'd think Justin Timberlake would be able to shoehorn the title of his one-hour record release TV special to be a little less unwieldy: "Target Presents the iHeartRadio Album Release Party With Justin Timberlake." Nevertheless, the release party of The 20/20 Experience will indeed be aired as a one-hour CW special featuring interviews and performances by Timberlake, including the world premiere of second single "Mirrors." [MTV]

Harry Styles' dad Des has been taking the warmed-up Wand Erection tofu nugget aside to warn him of the dangers of douchedom, says a source:

"Des is worried that Harry is emerging as a lad who treats girls badly, dumps them and moves on without much remorse. He told Harry he's part of a clean-cut teenage band and although girls love them, he needs to treat them right. He told Harry to ride the wave and live the dream, but he's concerned his son is getting a bad reputation, which is unjustified as he's a kind-hearted soul."

Recently, Daddy Styles confirmed: "I told him, just because you're a good-looking boy and the girls like you, don't use them. But teenage lads take stuff on board and throw out what they don't want to listen to." [Entertainmentwise]

So this is amazing:

Heads quickly turned in the direction of Katie Holmes during the Sheryl Sandberg "Lean In" event at the Time Warner Center when Jane Rosenthal referred to a friend raising "the future assholes of tomorrow."

Don't give me that look. We ALL know there's a one in a million shot that Suri doesn't end up being Veruca Salt. [Page Six]

Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore will reunite for a rom-com about "a couple who, after [their] disastrous blind date, are stuck together in a family resort with their children from previous marriages." Reprise! [Variety]

• Kelsey Grammer, apparently the Don Quixote of the stock market, lost millions of dollars on investing in windmills. [TMZ]
• Gwyneth Paltrow had a really bad migraine/panic attack combo that she solved by basically ceasing to eat anything except seaweed-wrapped air. Science? [Express]
• Move to L.A., Adele! Move to L.A.! [Female First]
• Gwen Stefani stole Justin Bieber's drop-crotch pants. [Daily Mail]
• Speaking of El Beebo, ugly person Olivia Wilde was attacked by his fans after she Tweeted that "put your fucking shirt on" joke. [Toronto Sun]
• Miranda Kerr was in a minor car accident and is now wearing a neck brace. [E!]
• Ne-Yo and Celine Dion collaborate. (Ideally, on a mismatched cop show. "YOU'RE OUT OF LINE, DION.") [Idolator]
• Rock of Ages director Adam Shankman says that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are both "very happy" in the wake of the divorce. [Us Weekly]
• Jude Law is dating a 25-year-old model named Alicia Roundtree, which is strange because I TOTALLY thought he would be into 56-year-old insurance agents with goiters, or Olivia Wilde. [Daily Mail]
• Sabrina the Teenage Witch has no patience for her husband when he's sick and whining. [People]
• Today in perfection, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bill Murray and John Goodman went out to eat in Berlin. See, they're MY version of One Direction. [HuffPo]
• 14-year-old Bindi Irwin is grown-up and pretty. [Us Weekly]
• Judge Judy is facing a rather Judge Judyish lawsuit over flatware. [News.com.eu]
• Jonathan Taylor-Thomas reunited with Tim Allen on his show Last Man Standing. [Us Weekly]
• Oww, Mira Sorvino wasn't recognized by bouncers at the Darby. Haven't they ever seen Mighty Aphrodite? [Page Six]
• Unsurprisingly, it's not fun to be James Franco's neighbors in L.A. [NYDN]
• Anna Wintour hates the shit out of Kim Kardashian. [Radar Online]
• Reportedly Demi Moore tried to have kids with Ashton Kutcher repeatedly, and believes it would have saved their marriage. [Radar Online]
• Amanda Bynes is "blissfully unaware" and "totally out of it lately," says a Captain Obvious on the good ship S.S. Gossip Source. [Radar Online]
• Tina Fey will be on Inside the Actors Studio. [Bravo TV]

Queen of Controversy M.I.A. is currently embroiled in a vicious custody battle over her 4-year-old son, Ikhyd Edgar Arular Bronfman, with her estranged ex-fiancé Benjamin Bronfman, the environmentalist son of Seagram heir Edgar Bronfman Jr. (and part of the younger generation of almost-too-cool dilettante-ish Bronfmans). The two broke off their engagement in February of last year, and now the Bronfmans are looking for full custody of Ikhyd. It's all so Gossip Girl.

Going up against a powerful family like that certainly sounds daunting; unfortunately, nobody told the Sri Lankan singer that taking to Twitter wouldn't exactly helping her case. In a series of since-deleted Tweets, she addressed her ex by name:

"BEN you cant take my son away from me… Just because you have money doesnt mean you have the right…(sic) THE BRONFMANS WANT TO TAKE MY CHILD AWAY FROM ME. WHAT KIND OF S- IS THAT? THEY NEVER SEE HIM."

And on her father's abandonment of her when she was ten:

"Every child needs the MOTHER , I GREW UP WITHOUT A DAD . If grew up without my mother i wouldnt be here."

[San Francisco Gate, Radar Online]

Prepare for the biggest life change before menopause, you guys: Demi Lovato got a haircut. I KNOW. And here's Demi on the reason for her ever-changing hair: "That was just like, 'What can I do next? I'm bored." So am I, Demi. So am I. [Us Weekly]

Ahh, the scent of fresh bullshit wafting through the morning air. Kristen Stewart's become good friends with Katy Perry's assistant Tamra Natisin, who incidentally supports gay rights and has attended pride events. Therefore, by National Enquirer logic, they're banging. No, I mean, that's it. That's all of the proof they have, aside from editorializing (K-Stew "raised eyebrows by lavishing attention on Tamra" at a bar in Hollywood earlier this month.) [Gossip Cop]

Although for a second there it was rumored that Ed Sheeran was Taylor Swift's lobster, the Gingerbrit has sheepishly informed the press to the contrary.

"My mates believed it. And my mates are texting me being like, 'Is it true?' so I said it wasn't but the fact that people can believe it makes me feel like a bit of a stud, you know? 'I've got to be honest because one of my best friends did date her. I'm not that kind of guy. But the fact that people believed it impressed me a little bit... I did go to her hotel, I did stay there until four and I did leave in the same clothes - but I was playing her my new record. It was strictly that kind of thing. Literally, I went in there and we passed the guitar back and forth and played songs to each other.''

[HuffPo UK]

Zach Braff bears kind of a significant resemblance to Anne Hathaway's con-man ex-boyfriend Raffaello Follieri. "Once, Anne's dad saw me at a premiere and gave me this look for a second like he was going to tackle me because I guess he wasn't the best ex-boyfriend."

Nope! He was a thief. That kind of shit only works out in Ocean's Eleven. [Digital Spy]

• Charlie Sheen wants you to send dog shit to his daughter's old school because she was bullied. [Star Magazine]
• Someone who stalked Ivanka Trump got arrested in Florida. [TMZ]
• Jude Law is sick of his "playboy" rep overshadowing his acting. [TV3.ie]
• Daniel Craig yelled at a guy who tried to take pictures of him and Rachel Weisz at the grocery store. [Showbiz Spy]
• Kate Middleton's doing Yoga for The Pregnant. [Hollywood Life]
• Howard Stern is hella offended that anyone would suggest he could take Jimmy Fallon's Late Night post. [Gossip Cop]
• A "fruit juice tycoon" asked Adele to sing at his wedding and she was like, "That'll be £100,000 per minute. Fank you." [Entertainmentwise]
• Robin Roberts will be honored by Diane von Furstenberg at the fourth annual DVF awards. [People]
• The terminally impatient Jillian Michaels is having her mettle tested by her children. [Us Weekly]
• Kim Kardashian eats food. She does not just munch on nuts and bolts and press releases as I previously thought. [Us Weekly]
• Michael Bublé and his wife are expecting a baby boy. [Page Six]
• Steven Tyler hit on some Victoria's Secret Angels. [Page Six]
• Okay, James Franco is definitely dating Ashley Benson. [Page Six]
• Dina Lohan got shitfaced at a charity auction. "When someone would receive an award, Dina would start clapping and stand up, the only one in the room standing. This prompted the auction leader to call out to her, ‘Ma'am, I have to remind you, when I see your hands above your eyebrows it means that you are bidding.'" [NYDN]
• Justin Bieber's hamster Pac, who he later gave to a fan, has passed away. Bagpipe dirge. ;_; [NYDN]
• SAMUEL L. DOGSON. [TMZ]

Jennifer Aniston, the quintessential grown-up Judy Blume heroine, has a lot of Very Important Decisions to make in the next few months as her wedding to Justin Theroux draws nigh. Apparently she's been quizzing Charlize Theron—mom of one-year-old Jackson Theron—about the process of adoption since mutual friend Chelsea Handler connected the two.

Aniston's still unsure of the route she'll take to motherhood, says a source (I always picture our friend Source as professional doorway lurker O'Brien from Downton Abbey, don't you?):

"She's seriously considering [adoption] as an option, given her age and the fact that Charlize says it's the most rewarding thing she's ever done. But she hasn't decided entirely, with surrogacy another possibility for Jennifer because she definitely does want to have kids. However, at the moment she's just concentrating on her wedding to Justin. After that, she will decide what to do next."

Whether it's sliding out of you, falling from the sky or being plucked off a tree, I support you, Jennifer. [Radar Online]

YES! Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman, who devastated me/you/my cat/America when they announced their split in October after 30 years of marriage, are TRYING AGAIN. In other words, love has just peeled itself off the tarmac and taken flight.

"Danny kind of took Rhea for granted for a few years and their marriage went stale because of that.

Danny has been moving heaven and earth to win Rhea back – and it has worked," a source close to the couple tells Radar.

He pampered her with spa treatments, took her out for expensive dinners and made sure she felt special again.

Danny hasn't got a better friend on this planet than Rhea. They are the perfect couple, share the same playful sense of humor and were made for each other."

I have something in my eye, like a, hang on. [Radar Online]

Nicki Minaj, Elle's April cover girl, received something they're generously calling a "makeunder" (although it's not exactly like she just rolled out of bed with that lipliner on), and tells you to be Like A Boss, always, all the time.

"My advice to women in general: Even if you're doing a nine-to-five job, treat yourself like a boss. Not arrogant, but be sure of what you want - and don't allow people to run anything for you without your knowledge. You want everyone to know, Okay, I can't play games with her. I have to do right by this woman."

Go get me a coffee, Internet. See, I already feel more empowered. [NYDN, image via Elle]

Nicki also bugged out on American Idol after her favorite contestant, Curtis Finch Jr., was eliminated. [Daily Mail]

Nobody's more distraught by the possible Miley Cyrus/Liam Hemsworth split than her parents, Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus. They're worried about Miley being single during this rebellious, partying phase of hers. "They know Liam's a good influence on her, he's very stable [and] extremely disciplined. Without him around to keep her on track who knows how wild she could get." What about the positive influence of her best friend Leslie? She's just being Miley, guize!

Related: judging by that picture, she and Justin Bieber have fused together to become one major sizzurp-sipping l'enfant terrible. [Entertainmentwise]

Women in New York and Long Island are taking their Kate Middleton emulation a step or two further than buying the same $55 Topshop dress: they're bringing photos of the princess to rhinoplasty offices in droves and requesting the same schnoz as the Dutchess of Cambridge.

Says a 22-year-old NYU student: "When I saw Kate's nose, I just knew it was the perfect nose for me. Other celebrities had parts of their noses that I wanted, but Kate's nose had it all. The bridge swoops. The tip doesn't fall when she smiles. And it's feminine." Can Kate Middleton's Nose Have It All? Let's write a bunch of trend pieces about it.

No but seriously, everything about this is fucked up. [NYDN]

After slamming Lindsay Lohan in his latest Feelingtweets, Justin Bieber takes it backsies. He told TMZ:

"My post was only up for a few minutes but I realized right away that what I said at the end was wrong and distracted from what I was trying to say. I immediately deleted it and rewrote it so it would show what I was really feeling and those words are up now."

[TMZ]

• All of Lindsay Lohan's lies to cops will be used against her in court. [TMZ]
• Lil Wayne was once again hospitalized for seizures. Get well, Weezy! [TMZ]
• Prince Michael Jackson will testify in Michael Jackson's wrongful death suit. [Radar Online]
• A wasted Tara Reid staggered around Hollywood shoeless. :-| [TMZ]
• Elton John has a fuckload of those nodding toy dogs because he's like, FUCK you, I'm Elton John. [The Sun]
• Carly Rae Jepsen hopes that her pulling out of the Boy Scouts' National Scout Jamboree will draw people's attention to their ban on gay Scouts and leaders. [MTV News]
• Nicole Kidman says that getting older is bittersweet. [tv3.ie]
• Laydee Gaga checked out a $5.95 million penthouse in New York. [Page Six]
• Halle Berry told Conan O'Brien that she likes spraying perfume "between her legs." Or "between her thighs." Unclear whether this means she's spraying it on her vagina? Because I don't think you're supposed to do that. [Contact Music]
• Ahhh, Peter Dinklage and his daughter, so cute, can'ttttt. [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Christina Hendricks took an un-Joan-like fall down the stairs, but she's fine, just bruised. [RTE.ie]
• Fellow Hollywood pregnant ladies Jamie Lynn Sigler, Beverly Mitchell and Joanna Garcia threw Jenna Dewan-Tatum a baby shower. Meadow Soprano, Lucy Camden, and... Joanna Garcia throwing a baby shower is like a weird dream you'd have, isn't it? [SFGate]
• Sexy Javier Bardem and sexy Penelope Cruz went out to a sexy Italian dinner and everything was sexy. [Page Six]
• Khloe Kardashian has an adorable new puppy. Cross your fingers for it. Remember how poor Mercy ended up. [People]
• Elizabeth Hasselbeck stands behind Gwyneth Paltrow's water and Air Sushi diet. [Us Weekly]
• That time Jennie Garth attached her own hair extensions with pliers in Beverly Hills? It's now. [Us Weekly]
• "We have a mutual friend," [Keith] Richards was overheard telling [Al] Pacino at Time Warner Center. "Johnny Depp!" Pacino replied, "I love Johnny!" and the legends bonded. [Page Six]
• Allison Williams is into Homeland and Game of Thrones. [Page Six]
• A picture circulating the Twitterz that was supposedly of Katy Perry spilling out of a bikini is actually of bikini model Rosie Jones. [PageSix]
• Tom Cruise dated Cher in the '80s. Whaaat? [Fox News]

Single mom Connie Britton and her 2-year-old son Eyob and her jumbo glasses of white whine on Friday Night Lights and her perfect HAIR that is every effervescent, shimmering color that hair can be! I cannot.

Connie Britton may be a single mom, but her son apparently thinks she also sings "Single Ladies!"

When the actress's recent MORE cover came out around the same time as Beyoncé‘s GQ spread, Britton put 2-year-old Yoby to the test.

"I had them both in my house and my son was looking at [them]. I said, ‘Do you see Mommy?' He points at Beyoncé and says, ‘Mommy,'" the Nashville star, 45, tells PEOPLE at the PaleyFest Saturday.

But Britton took her son's mistake in stride, choosing to see the identity confusion as a compliment. "I was like, ‘That's my boy,'" she jokes.

Okay, now that I've actually typed it out there might be some racial identity issues suggested here, as Yoby's black and adopted, but the kid's too young for that, right? [Bossip]

• Lil Wayne is okay.
  

  I'm good everybody. Thx for the prayers and love.

  — Lil Wayne WEEZY F (@LilTunechi) March 16, 2013

• Bret Michaels turned down Chippendales. Shouldn't that sentence be reversed? I don't even want to see what's under that head bandanna. [TMZ]
• Brad Pitt might, maybe, wear Man Spanx. [The Daily Beast]
• Jessica Simpson took Maxwell to a fashion showZzzzzzz. [Us Weekly]
• Britney Spears looks happy. I'm glad. [Us Weekly]
• Apparently Kate Middleton and Prince William are competitive. "She told me that when William and her play Scrabble they don't usually finish it because one of them slams it shut." [Page Six]
• George Clooney and Stacy Keibler broke up? Or are still together? I LONG FOR THE DAYS WHEN THIS WAS SIMPLE [Page Six]
• Olivia Wilde got a private champagne room in a strip club for herself, Jason Sudeikis and two dancers (and she paid the tab). We get it. You guys like doing it. [Page Six]
• The Jacksons want $40 billion in the wrongful death suit of Michael Jackson. (Is it too soon to say that I hope Conrad Murray takes this opportunity to approach Katherine Jackson and say "I'm sorry, Miss Jackson, I am, for real?" Too soon? K.) [TMZ]
• This would be Charlotte Church in a pink Afro wig. [Daily Mail]
• Gucci Man (pronounced Mane, never forget) has dropped Waka Flocka Flame from Brick Squad. Flocka replies, "Suck my dick." Repartee. [Bossip]
• Morrissey has cancelled his entire tour because he has pneumonia. (Related: pretty sure Morrissey's dourness made him, like, give himself pneumonia somehow, does that happen?) [Contact Music]
• Daniel Radcliffe is totes proud that he was Harry Potter, even though everyone wants him to be sick of it. [Heat World]

While the William Shatner era of Star Trek isn't exactly the first thing that springs to mind as a predecessor of the "It Gets Better" anti-bullying movement, Buzzfeed's got an excerpt from the advice pages of a 1968 teen magazine called Fave displays Leonard Nimoy's sensitivity to the plight of one particular young woman. What would Spock do? she asks. And damn if he doesn't answer her perfectly.

Dear Mr. Spock,

I am not very good at writing letters so I will make this short. I know you are half Vulcan and half human and you have suffered because of this. My mother is Negro and my father is white and I am told this makes me a half-breed. In some ways I am persecuted even more than the Negro. The Negroes don't like me because I don't look like them. The white kids don't like me because I don't exactly look like one of them either. I guess I'll never have any friends.

F.C.
Los Angeles, Calif.

Some excerpts from his answer:

Most of the Vulcan kids didn't like Spock because he was half human. So they wouldn't include him in all the things they did. He was very lonely and no one understood him. And Spock was heartbroken because he wasn't popular. But it was only the need for popularity that was ruining his happiness.

Spock learned he could save himself from letting prejudice get him down. He could do this by really understanding himself and knowing his own value as a person. He found he was equal to anyone who might try to put him down—equal in his own unique way.

When you think of people who are truly great and who have improved the world, you can see that they are people who have realized they didn't need popularity because they knew they had something special to offer the world, no matter how small that offering seemed. And they offered it and it was accepted with peace and love. It's all in having the patience to find out what you yourself have to offer the world that's really uniquely yours.

Guhh. Weeping?

[via Buzzfeed]

At this point Justin and Jimmy's Late Night performance anthologies of the rap songs we know (or don't know, or forgot) and love (or feel okay enough about, but mostly love) are the stuff of legend.

Last night, the two did their fourth installment of "History of Rap," which included selections from Run DMC, Slick Rick, L.L. Cool J, Busta Rhymes, Salt N Pepa, A Tribe Called Quest, Missy Elliot, Hova, 50 Cent and that song that's like "Me so horny, me love you long time" and makes me uncomfortable. Enjoy!

I think it's fair to say that we've all been dreading the inevitable news that the financially-strapped Casey Anthony has agreed to do some kind of tell-all/Lifetime movie/If I Did It-style O.J. Simpson book or whatever the fuck. There have already been a number of slimy books about the case, one of which was penned by a member of the prosecution and was surprisingly NOT titled Hallo, I Am Worst Lawyer!! Get Me Hot Dog Pls?

However, there's now a slight chance we won't have to endure Anthony's sit-down interview with a rightfully disdainful Barbara Walters. A man named James M. Schober—who has no relation to Anthony whatsoever—has offered her $10,000 in order to buy her life rights for guaranteed silence. More specifically, to "prevent Ms. Anthony or others from publishing or profiting from her story in the future."

It seems unlikely that the judge would allow this deal to go through, since unauthorized biographies would still be cropping up and "there's no way a judge would force the sale of thoughts in Casey's head." However, the trustee in Anthony's bankruptcy case—which is $800,000 deep at this point—is examining the option as a potential way to make a dent in that whopping bill she owes.

'CASEY ANTHONY $10K Bid To Buy Silence ...FOREVER!' [TMZ]