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Racial Gap Between Teens Having High-Risk Sex Is Closing, Reports The CDC
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention has just released a statement on the HIV-related statistics of American high schools students, and it turns out that the news is mostly good! Jeez, I love...
View ArticleProbably-Underpaid Raccoon Diligently Fixes a Car
Sometimes life is a Pixar movie, and this is one of those times: the fun, yet pathos-ridden, adults-and-kids-will-both-enjoy flick Raccoon Mechanic will undoubtedly be winning Oscars by 2015. Those...
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Increased Popularity of Living in Sin Leads to Baby-Having 'Ambivalence'...
There is a serious shortage of stock images that turn up when you type in "bored pregnant woman," particularly if you are listening to The Latest Statistics™. The National Center for Health Statistics...
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Kristen Stewart Cheats on Vampire Boyfriend With Married Human Father of Two
Lo, and birds will fall dead from the sky, fish will float dead to the surface of the ocean and the email service on your smartphone will cease to work for approximately 10 minutes, for Kristen Stewart...
View ArticleComedian Gets Awesomely Meta About Her Encounter With a Flasher
For the first installment of writer/director Chioke Nassor's Storytime, a comedian named Sasheer Zamata recalls getting flashed and nonchalantly walking away ("I turned down his dick as if he were...
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You Won't Become an Unattractive, Crumpled Woman-Husk Until After You Turn 32
I don't know about you, but I celebrate each birthday by putting a lip gloss, a tampon, an eyelash curler and a push-up bra in a tiny little canoe. I then put the canoe in a body of water, set it...
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Aaron Sorkin Gave Mindy Kaling (Solicited) Notes on The Mindy Project
An unlikely friendship indeed: it seems that Aaron Sorkin and Mindy Kaling have been buddies for a few years now, beginning when he sent her a bottle of champagne after he enjoyed an episode of The...
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Wall Street Women Aren't In Executive Positions Because Their Genitals...
The conception of Wall Street as "macho" has seemingly been around for approximately as long as the Financial District has been a district, and a New York Times piece now unsurprisingly asserts that...
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America's Love Unicorn Taylor Swift to Write Sad Songs About Parents' Split
Hot off the presses: Local Woman Unable to Save Own Parents' Marriage With Romantic Crossover Ballads That Have Brought Love Into the Lives of Millions. It seems that Miss Taylor Swift, in addition to...
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Katie Couric's New Theme Song by Sheryl Crow Sounds Exactly Like You Think It...
The Katie Couric talk show we've all been waiting for, all our lives, forever, has debuted its new theme song, written and performed by none other than Couric's friend Sheryl Crow. The Grammy winner...
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Katy Perry Offers Robert Pattinson Refuge In Her Cupcake Décolletage
The plot thickens: pastry-breasted recent divorceé Katy Perry has invited her friend Robert Pattinson, cuckold, to "take a break" with her. A source says, "Katy has been a rock for Rob. She has...
View ArticleKitten And Parrot Duke it Out for MMA Sofa Championship
It's a battle for the ages: Kitten is a sheltered professional fighter who has been waiting for all of her eight weeks of life for this moment, but is emotionally chafing under the strict reigns of...
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Girls Still Sociologically Encouraged To Be With the Band, Not In the Band
It seems that the days of groupies getting traded between rock bands for $50 and a case of beer weren't left to James Cameron's nostalgic film lens. Professor William T. Bielby has examined the...
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Gwen Stefani Has No Doubt Red Looks Good On Her
Gwen Stefani of No Doubt performs on ABC's 'Good Morning America' at Rumsey Playfield, Central Park on July 27, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)
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Basically Not One Single Shit is Given About Teen Dating Violence Except In...
Most high school health classes (particularly in public schools, where programs are often underfunded and rushed) barely scrape the surface of dating violence when there are other hot-button health...
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Connie Britton Closes Her Eyes During Taylor Kitsch's Sex Scenes
As glorious-maned dream mom Tami Taylor I mean, Connie Britton, gets ready to play a country music doyenne in the new ABC drama Nashville, Vulture asked her some questions about the Friday Night Lights...
View ArticleLongtime Church Puppeteer Arrested For Harboring Fantasies of Pedophilia,...
An international child porn crackdown that's led to 40 arrests in six countries has uncovered a particularly gruesome stateside correspondence out of Florida, our nation's unofficial Sensational...
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Triceps On Top of Triceps Equals Triception
John Orozco of the United States of America competes in the pommel horse in the Artistic Gymnastics Men's Team qualification on Day 1 of the London 2012 Olympic Games at North Greenwich Arena on July...
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Sexual Dissatisfaction Found to Be Common in Diabetic Women
Poor Paula Deen might be mourning more than just the loss of butter. :((( A group of over 2,000 ethnically-diverse women between the ages of 40 and 20 were studied by the University of California at...
View ArticleGiant Dancing Walrus Should Win Custody of Jackson Children
I... okay. So this was first posted in March, but only now has it hit maximum viral capacity. And why not? What better way to Gorilla Glue the torn-asunder Jackson family unit back together than the...
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