I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy. Instead, Chris Brown, Frank Ocean and six posse members threw down in the parking lot of a recording studio in West Hollywood last night.
Aside from the wanton aggression and flashiness that serves as the through-line of all of Brown's dumbassery, it bears little resemblance to The Great Drake and Chris "Da Club" Incident of 2011, later immortalized in a mushroom-fueled pan flute ballad by Jethro Tull. No bottles were thrown, and it was not over Rihanna. Instead, it was over a parking space, which is how the feud between the Montagues and the Capulets began, actually.
As Chris went to leave, Ocean and his [...] crew blocked Chris from leaving. Sources say Frank said, "This is my studio, this is my parking spot." At that point, Chris went to shake Frank's hand and one of Frank's people attacked Chris... whose friends jumped in front and hit Frank's friend.
At which point we get a quote that was likely printed under Brown's yearbook picture:
"The altercation allegedly led to Chris Brown punching the victim," the department said in a statement released early Monday morning.